Help Clients Take Responsibility for Their Emotions

In graduate school, I submitted a client case study to the head of our counseling department—a nun who drove a gold-plated Cadillac. Yes, you read that right. That should’ve been my first clue this wasn’t going to be a typical classroom experience.

She read it and scolded me—in front of the entire class.

“This sounds like a lunchroom conversation,” she said. “If you can’t go deeper with people, you might want to consider another profession. People have to feel to heal.”

Ouch.

I left that class devastated. Being a counselor wasn’t just an idea—it was my calling. I went home, cried, got mad, and vented to another professor. But now, more than 20 years later, I’ll tell you the truth:

She was right.

Why Emotional Responsibility Changes Everything

Helping clients take responsibility for their emotions is one of the most transformational aspects of our work—and also one of the most challenging.

Many clients come in with finely tuned strategies for avoiding emotional pain. Distraction, overthinking, projection, rationalization, compartmentalization—these aren’t just habits, they’re survival mechanisms. And often, not feeling was how they got through life.

But those unfelt emotions? They don’t just disappear. They show up in the body, in patterns of anxiety and burnout, in emotional shutdown, perfectionism, or chronic stress.

We can’t heal what we refuse to feel.

What Clients Actually Need

Clients don’t just need to talk about their pain. They need a way to move through it—to face it safely, and to come out the other side with insight, clarity, and healing.

That’s why discovering the Inner Counselor Process™, developed by Dr. Ann Nunley, was such a pivotal moment in my career. I now have the privilege of teaching and certifying other professionals in this powerful approach.

What Is the Inner Counselor Process™?

My favorite way of helping clients access their emotions in a safe and structured way is using a whole person process called The Inner Counselor Process (ICP). Known to get to the root of the problem each session, it takes the tip of the iceberg trigger and goes back to its origin for resolving. It holds a structure for emotions so they aren’t so scary and so they don’t overwhelm or trigger the person into total shut down. 

It takes them in and through their emotions it in a beautiful way that allows for a new pattern to emerge. And then the client reconnects to this refreshed, updated version of them that is more response-able, accessing a fuller range of emotions that are “heart healthy” and nervous system satisfying such as peace, deeper love and joy for example. These more nurturing, innate feelings are your natures organic gift for being so brave to traverse the waters of your emotions in a healthier way.

Being able to honor the deeper emotion (irrational or not in the present moment) and giving the emotion a way to be most helpful instead of the emotion “being in charge of them” is a game changer. Intense emotions often need a structure to be utilized at their best. These often younger, hurt parts did not have a structure to help them find their inner need, and because of this, a structured process that is effective, allows the emotional body to be super helpful! 

Emotions can then become the star that they are. 

They don’t have to “act out” or harm anymore. They can be the helpers they were meant to be. To help people shine and evolve into a more life giving, healthier version of themselves. Honoring emotions as a crucial part of the “food pyramid” of our mind-body-Spirit health is paramount to our survival. It truly is that simple and important, yet we continue to forget, even myself as a person who works with emotions all day long. I live in this emotion overloading and crushing (at times…) miraculous society too and we owe each other a lot of grace, support, love and kindness for just being alive together on this journey. Here’s to taking more responsibility for emotions in a world where so much of our pain is caused by not doing this.

What Happens When Clients Take Responsibility for Their Emotions

When clients are gently guided to feel instead of avoid, they begin to:

• Identify the deeper emotional roots behind their reactions

• Stop projecting pain onto others or their environment

• Transform old wounds instead of repeating old stories

• Reclaim their power by responding with intention instead of reacting from fear

They stop spiraling. They start healing.

When emotions are honored instead of pushed down or acted out, clients experience emotional clarity, nervous system relief, and a reconnection to their deepest truth. And when they reconnect to that inner clarity, their entire system begins to shift.

Why This Work Matters Now More Than Ever

We are living in a time when people are overwhelmed, emotionally overloaded, and often disconnected from their own truth.

As therapists and healing professionals, it’s our job to provide more than coping skills. We are called to create the kind of space where emotional responsibility leads to transformation.

That starts with the right tools—and the right training.

The Inner Counselor Process™ gives professionals a step-by-step way to guide clients through inner work that is profound, safe, and lasting.

Final Thoughts

That nun in the Cadillac? She wasn’t wrong. “People have to feel to heal.”

But the truth is, they need help learning how to feel. They need safety. They need structure. And they need someone who can walk alongside them as they reconnect with their emotional truth and their own inner power.

If you’re ready to bring this level of healing into your work—and into your own life—I invite you to explore the Inner Counselor Process™ Certification Program.

Let’s help clients not just survive, but transform.

Sending you love and support,

Dr. Shannon South

Dr. Shannon South is a esteemed therapist and trainer in Asheville, NC. She has worked with healing trauma and mind-body-Spirit healing for over 20 years. She created The Inner Counselor Certification Program (C-ICP) and holds trainings and retreats for other professionals wanting to uplevel their practice. www.theinnercounselor.com